Bullied, Broke, and Lost—How Fitness Saved My Life
Everyone always asks me how I became confident despite struggling with body image issues. Let me tell you—the journey that built my confidence was anything but easy.
I dealt with bullying for most of my life, from the age of five all the way through college. Growing up as the only Black kid in my family didn’t help either. Yep, let’s get that question out of the way—I’m adopted, and my entire family is white. That alone sparked a lot of my early body image struggles because I constantly questioned why I didn’t look like everyone else. Things got even tougher when I switched to public school, where I was one of only four Black kids in the entire elementary, middle, and high school combined.
The bullying? Oh, it was top-tier. Not only was I Black, but I also wasn’t conventionally attractive, and I was kind of chunky. I tried everything to fit in—even straightening my hair, hoping it would make me blend in more. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. I still got picked on for my hair, my skin color—everything. One kid even told me I wasn’t allowed to have a MySpace because I was Black. (Yes, I’m from the MySpace era, even though my strict, super-Christian parents wouldn’t let me have one anyway.) Oh, and if I jump around in this story, my bad—I have ADHD, so just roll with it!
In middle school, I decided to play volleyball. You’d think I’d be in shape, but nah—your girl was getting McDonald’s after every game and practice. Back when the fries were top-tier and the sweet tea was legendary. Even as an athlete, the bullying never stopped. I wasn’t the best player, but I had my moments, and thankfully, my best friend was on the team with me. I played all through high school, and while I still wasn’t in shape, I also still wasn’t “cute.” (Seriously, I didn’t get a boyfriend until I started working out.)
Senior year, I tried out for volleyball again. Technically, I made the team, but the coach made it clear I’d be sitting on the bench most of the time. That’s when I made the best decision of my life: I started my fitness journey.
Even after high school, I struggled with body image issues, so I decided to take action. I started working out at home, beginning with 15-minute sessions and gradually increasing the time. I got super into it, but my body image was so distorted that I basically became bulimic without even realizing it. My goal was to be skinny, and let me tell you—I got skinny. I blame those outdated BMI charts that said I needed to be 145 lbs at 5’6”. I never considered my bone structure or muscle mass. I was just skin and bones, and the crazy part? I still wanted to lose more weight.
People at church started talking, and my mom eventually yelled at me for getting too skinny. That’s when I asked my parents for a gym membership. I couldn’t afford one, but since my dad worked at a church, they found a way to get it covered. I was ecstatic! I had never worked out in a gym before, and I had no idea what I was doing, but it ended up changing my life.
At first, I went all in—seven days a week, two-hour workouts. (Don’t do that, by the way. I now know that’s not the best way to make progress.) I was learning everything I could, but most of my info came from Instagram, which, let’s be real, isn’t always the best source. My weight fluctuated between 150-170 lbs because I couldn’t figure out my diet or how to properly gain muscle. As a broke high school student, I couldn’t afford a trainer, which sucked because I needed guidance.
Eventually, I asked my parents if I could go to school for personal training, and they said yes. I went to college, studied Exercise Science, and finally learned how to train properly—not just for myself, but to help others too. My goal for seven years was to become a personal trainer, but I didn’t want to work in a corporate gym where it’s all about quotas and money instead of the clients’ needs.
After graduating with my degree, I took a leap of faith—I quit my job with no backup plan and went all in on my dream of running my own fitness business. With faith, God, hard work, and my expertise, I became a successful trainer in just six months. In the past six years, I’ve trained over 100 clients, helping them use fitness as a tool to heal, gain confidence, and feel better in their bodies.
I even wrote a fitness guide with picture examples to help people who can’t afford a trainer but still want expert guidance. A Guide to Learning Fitness the Simple Way covers everything you need—from gaining muscle and losing weight to recovery, bulking, reverse dieting, and building confidence in the gym. If you’re looking for an affordable alternative to a trainer, grab my book and start your journey today!